for shit's sake

real quick:
i've had this beef for a while,
and it just f'in happened to me again.

you know the feeling you get in your gut
when you flush the toilet, but instead of
the usual satisfying sound of "guh guh guh",
you're hearing the hiss of water rising?

sucks right?
whats worse?
the solution.

i think most of us learned, around the time
of our first overflow, about the knob.
(not that knob, pervs)
i mean the knob that turns off the water.

now, here's my problem: design flaw.
as said water is rising up, i have to reach behind the toilet,
frantically knock over the plunger,
throw the toilet bowl scrubber across the bathroom,
and with some dexterity turn off the water.
meanwhile, the farther i reach behind the toilet,
the closer my face is getting to the one place
i'd like more than anything, to avoid.

what the fuck?
why not have "the knob" on the top of the toilet.
one could look down with a bird's-eye view,
and strategically make the big decisions.
why not put it by the light switch?
hell, put it in the bathtub!
anywhere would be better.

all i know is i've had my face way too close
to some things i wish i'd never seen.
am i the only one who thinks this?
could this be a million dollar design idea?
i think so.
lets make it happen...
please?