news

listen.

it was a cold and rainy tuesday morning when chas and i
set out across town to see my oncologist, to get the news
from my latest CT scan, and see how this bullshit cancer
was responding to the latest chemo i had started.
the weather wasn't helping our nerves.
does good news come on dreary days like this?
apparently not.

it wasn't good news, and yet it wasn't terrible news.
the cancer is still spreading in my lungs. a little.
i will stop taking the avastin, go to usc immediately,
and discuss some new options with their oncology department.

it wasn't altogether a surprise. the lymph nodes in my neck
are still swollen, and have become my own informal way of
determining if the treatments i am taking are working or not.
very much looking forward to the day when these fuckers go away.

so here we go again.
setback. regroup. attack.
break down. pick up. breathe.

its the morning after now, and thankfully, the sun is out.
my list of things to do is long.
its time to get started.